Thirteen Years

 

We have another teenager in the house.

 

This girl. Such a good mix of sugar and spice. Her sugar side you will not find on the court or the field. Something she's been working on. You know, not mouthing off to the refs or getting in her opponent's face. It could be her size- she has no choice but to play aggressive. Or the Dacey temperament as Rocky likes to say. Or maybe just her passion for the game. She's been done with basketball for approximately 9 days and said tonight "I miss basketball." She's happiest when she's competing with her best girls by her side.

 

When it comes to her sibs, she is most often sugar. As we enter these teen years we see her pushing away and looking for autonomy and space. Of course she is, and it's completely natural. At times it's hard for me to see because her whole life she has been so devoted to her younger siblings. She still is- just in limited doses. On the flip side of that what I get to see is a new friendship evolve between her and Sam. This year has marked handfuls of nights the three of us have sat up talking and laughing together. Their relationship growing and him seeing her as not just a little sister but a friend. One of my greatest prayers is for my kids to be best friends. I pray they will lay the groundwork now and strengthen the bonds for future years.

 

In June we will be traveling to Ethiopia with her two best friends and their mamas. I am a mess of emotions over this. Elated that she will experience this beautiful country that her brother is from. Thankful she will see a world so much bigger than this insulated bubble we live in. Excited to see how she loves on others. But if I'm totally honest, I'm pretty anxious too. It's a huge deal to take these girls to a third world country to serve the oppressed and vulnerable. I am trusting God to guide our steps and I am praying for wrecked, sold out hearts that are moved to continue the good work being done in Jesus' name. I can't imagine for a minute my thirteen year old self having a sliver of interest in spending a week of my summer serving. God is already doing such a work in her heart and she is far more mature in her thirteen years than I was at twenty.

 

I can't imagine these three in any other order. I am so thankful these two little ones have such an awesome role model in their big sister. These two get the gift of a big sister that sets a wonderful example of loving God, loving others and working hard.

Maggie Lu, we couldn't be more proud of you. God has given you precious gifts and talents. I pray that you find those gifts and go boldly and confident in the work He has for you. Happy 13 years, Peanut. We love you.

Photo Albums

When it comes to baby books, scrapbooks, photo albums and the like: I stink. I start out with the greatest of intentions but so far the best documenting I've managed to do is this blog. A few weeks ago Sam and I had to go hunting through the photo albums for a baby picture he could use for his 8th grade yearbook. I was so thankful he was born in the era when we actually developed pictures and put them in an album. The three littles are going to be up a creek when we have so search every disk, hard drive and shutterfly to find their pictures.

 

Z and the selfie

 

We have a couple little albums laying around the house that I've put together for birthdays or Father's Day. Since Z has been home I have yet to make a new album. But that is soon to change.

Recently he's been bothered by his absence in the albums. I'm not sure it's the lack of pictures of himself (because he's in frames all over the house) but much deeper. He's piecing timelines together and he's grieving that he hasn't always been here with us. At first he would just ask "how come I'm not in this picture, mama?" I would explain that he wasn't born yet and show him a recent picture. This kiddo, though, he's very bright and pretty soon that explanation was cutting it.

 We are moving on to explaining that during some of those times, even though he was born, he was still in Ethiopia. He doesn't care for that answer either. Some of our conversations are so heartbreaking. I'm cautious of oversharing but needless to say he is working through some hard stuff and figuring out how this all pieces together. We are working hard to help foster a love for his home of birth. We always want him to have a connection and be proud of both his families and countries. These are tricky waters to navigate.

He is only 3. So little to make sense of this all. Most days I can't make sense of it. But he's asking questions and we're answering. He's sharing his feelings and we're doing our best to understand and to guide him to a soft heart.

He has made such tremendous growth in the past year. Both physically and emotionally. The striking change between these pictures almost sucks the air out of me. Because when I look at them I am reminded of the years we missed before. Before 2 1/2 we have no pictures, no memories. No baby books or baby keepsakes for us to hold onto and so many questions left unanswered. These are the hard parts of adoption. While there is so much joy it is not without loss on the other side. So we continue to muddle our way through and hope and pray... and pray some more that we are giving him what he needs. But most importantly that we're pointing him to the One and only that will fill those missing pieces.

Commuting

I have the most beautiful commute.

Especially on bright, sunny days like today.

Hello there, #739. 

Sunday with the chicks

A boy and his sticks

 

We've been having glimpses of spring lately. And by glimpses I mean breaks in the constant downpour of rain and temperatures rising above 40 degrees. We are all ready for the nicer weather to be upon us and have been taking every opportunity possible to be outside.

Especially since we added to the family last week.

Six sweet chicks have joined the farm. We refer to Jo as the chicken whisperer.

 

Capturing Maggie Lu capturing the chicks.

Pardon the poop but I love this pic. It's mirror image chicks.

Kids had a mean game of kickball going on. Hold onto your boots Jo.

And seriously, when did this happen? She's looking so grown up.

She'll be thirteen in 19 days. I can't believe it.