{3}

Today marked three months home with our Z man. In some ways it feels far longer than three months but in most ways it's hard to believe it's going so fast. It's difficult to say that things are getting "better" or "easier" because the tone can change around here so quickly. Most often we are able to quantify it by days but at other times it moments. We are all getting to know each other better and understand the new dynamics of our family. Our new is beginning to feel much more normal albeit very loud! Henry Zelalem is adored by his siblings and there is never a shortage of hugs, kisses and snuggles around here. Rocky and Sam have introduced him to nightly wrestling matches but truth be told, I think he prefers wrestling his sisters.

One Month

 

Our sweet, energetic, smiley boy has been home one month today! He is adjusting so well to the craziness of this home and fits in so well. He loves being in the car and on the go...thank goodness because his siblings keep a pretty packed schedule. His absolute favorite thing to do is be outside on the tractor mower with his dad. Once he's on there's no getting him off. He almost fell asleep on their last week. We are longing for the summer to be here-this kid is going to be outside from sun up to sun down.

 

He adores his siblings. He and Sam are constantly wrestling and playing chase around the kitchen loop. The girls are all mothering him and even though Jo has had a few growing pains since he's been home she is mostly tender and sweet with him. It's been so fun to see her in the big sister role.

 

A few little tidbits about Z at one month home:

*He sleeps great at night, not so much for naps.

*Oatmeal and toast with peanut butter are his favorite foods.

*He is saying more words everyday and seems to understand almost everything we say.

*He plays so sweetly when the kids are all at school and usually chooses the baby dolls and stroller to play with.

*He knows all his siblings names and Grandma and Papa.

*When he says "I love you" it sounds like "I lub you"-melts my heart.

*He is almost ALWAYS smiling and has the BEST giggle ever.

*We are head over heels for this little guy and can't even imagine life without him.

 

 

This past month has been anything but easy but we would do it all over again in a heartbeat. I am so thankful we said 'yes' and have been blessed with the gift of this sweet guy.

November 9, 2012

For three months this was our number.

To say we were feeling bummed and a little discouraged would be an understatement. 22 months ago we had been told that our wait would be somewhere between 8-12 months.  Ten months past the worst case scenario and no movement at all. In the midst of our impatience we were trying to reconcile the longing we were feeling for our son and the grief that a family across the world would be encountering.

I have often said that even though this wait has been one of the most difficult things I've ever done; I wouldn't trade it. God has used this time to work in our hearts and to show us that at the end of the day, He is all that matters. I have cried out and He has answered. To hear from Him, even when it's not the answer I'm looking for, has been worth every moment of the wait.

But on November 9th we heard the answer we'd been praying for. On a Friday afternoon, shopping at Target, my phone rang. It was the call. The call that was about to rock our world. I'd like to say I handled the call with ease and coolness but the fact is I was a blubbering goof and I could hardly gather my thoughts to make intelligable conversation. I panicked and explained I was out shopping with the girls and what should I do? Our case worker calmly reassured me it was okay, to take a deep breath and call Rocky and set up a time that we could be together and she would call back. I hung up with her and called Rocky and asked him how soon he could be home. It only took him a few seconds to figure out what was going on. From there things get a little blurry. I was trying so hard to focus on finsihing our shopping but my mind was racing and I was suddenly having this panic and feeling like how can I possibly be shopping when my son is across the world and he needs me. The urgency to get to him kicked in instantaneously. Maggie and I tracked down my sis-in-law who just happened to be shopping at Target at the same time. We had a small celebration in the aisles and then we checked out, all the while blabbering to the check out girl that I had a son in Ethiopia. Yikes, I really couldn't get a grip.

We headed home and waited for Rocky and Sam to get home. We scheduled the call for 2:00 just to be sure Rock had enough time to get home. At 1:15 he was home and the next 45 minutes felt like the longest moments of my life.

The girls waiting for the phone to ring. I think they had every brown skinned baby we own sitting with us during the call. We got set up and then watched the phone while Rocky hit refresh on our e-mail about a thousand times in hopes that something just might come through. Finally the phone rang.

The kids sat with us through every part of the call. Eventually Jo crashed but the other three stuck by our sides and didn't miss a thing. It was hard. I thought we had prepared ourselves for the hard and for the grief but to see it written out in black and white and hear it with your ears is overwhelming. We anticipate the overwhelming to stay with us for a long time. That's okay. I don't want us ever to forget what happens on the other side of adoption. There is hurt and there is pain. We are praying for Him to make all things new.

We waded through pages and pages of medical reports and background reports. Then our case worker asked.....would you like to see some pictures?

And there he was, that sweet little face that I now have memorized. That I look at a hundred times a day. For a few moments it was just silent and we let the tears roll. There are no words to describe the feeling of seeing your child for the first time...and he's 2 1/2 years old. We knew instantly he was ours and there was no need for discussion or to return any phone calls. We said yes, tell us what to do next.

The rest of the night I could hardly focus on anything. I couldn't sit still, yet I couldn't manage to finish anything. I was like a mama with her newborn baby...I just wanted to stare at him and memorize every detail. We are so thankful for our dear friends, who have been a part of this journey since day one show up on doorstep with balloons and sparking cider. We weren't thinking clearly enough to properly celebrate! I'm so grateful to have this moment documented. Thank you Hanson family~ we will be forever grateful for this gift!

We are now back in the waiting game. Paperwork submitted and now we wait for a court date. We're praying we get to travel before Christmas but in all honesty I don't know that we really care. The sooner the better, we just want to hold our boy and tell him we love him, that he will always be loved and that there is a God that loves him more than we could ever imagine.

God can do anything, you know-far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us. Glory to God in the church! Glory to God in the Messiah, in Jesus!

                 Ephesisans 3:20-21 {the message}



January Number

I'm not posting a number this month since it was the same as last {31}. Instead, the paper chain I made last week. Thirty-one links. Really praying we get to pull off a whole bunch of links in February. Thirty would be nice! A mama can dream~

one year

Today marks one year officially waiting for our Henry. I honestly never dreamed we'd be here. With paremeters a bit wider than most on the waitlist, and given that we were told 8-12 months, I was sure our little man would be home by now. Or at the very least we'd be preparing to travel to meet him. I am without a doubt confident in the Lord's timing. I know He is control and when we finally see his sweet little face it will be worth every minute and tear in this wait. But I'd be lying if I told you this was easy, or that I haven't had angry words or even questioned the path we're on. We've put a lot on hold in the past two years in preparation for our son. We've done lots of planning and re-arranging of our home and our lives in anticipation of the next Poulin. And yes, at times it's been all consuming. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of him. In fact, there's proably not an hour that passes without at least a fleeting thought. But here's the good stuff that comes with the hard stuff and the wait....I've had the privledge to pray for so many families as they wait, travel and meet their precious new additions. We've welcomed new little ones home at the airport with families that will be our friends for life. We've celebrated at baby showers and referral parties and over doughnuts and lots of coffee for the lives that have been united in this process. It is good. God is GOOD!! Time after time I see how He orchestrates the details so perfectly. Maybe not as we would, but so much better. Isn't that always how He works? We have watched our children grow and mature in their faith as they daily bring their requests before the Lord, always including their brother. But not just their brother, other brothers and sisters that are waiting and for all little ones out there longing and hurting for a family. God has grown a deep desire in my heart to help and advocate for the orphan. I am prayerful about how He wants to lead knowing I will be obedient to however He calls me and our family.

We have hearts filled with gratitude for the blessings and miracles we've experienced along this journey. We are so thankful for our friends, family and those who have sacrificed to help us. I've decided the hardest part about the wait isn't the length of time, it's the not knowing when that time will be up. We are hopeful that next year on this anniversary we'll be sending out our 2012 Christmas card with a very loved and very special little addition on the front smiling back at ya!